


My Curse

by ivory_p3ach3s



Series: Ongoing PJO Fanfictions [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Curses, Depression, Fear, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, Mania, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minor Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico Feels, Paranoia, Past Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Past Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quests
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9796592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivory_p3ach3s/pseuds/ivory_p3ach3s
Summary: Jason was strong.Jason was tough.Jason could do whatever he wanted.Jason was in control.Nico was weak.Nico was failing.Nico was trapped.Nico is running out of time.





	1. Hopeless and Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song, My Curse by Killswitch Engage

**_I watched you walk away_ **

**_Hopeless, with nothing to say_ **

**_I've strained my eyes hoping to see you again_ **

 

* * *

 

 

Sweat and tears.  Salt filled his nose as he woke up screaming again.  He kicked his covers off, too hot to function, panting wildly in fear.  His eyes were large and filled with more tears as strangled sobs escaped his throat and choked him up again.  He covered his face with his hands, wailing, trying to stop the stream of noises from his mouth.  He couldn't wake anyone up again.  Not tonight.  Tonight was the worst.   _No one_  could see him like this tonight.

He rushed out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom.  The light flickered on and blinded the boy briefly as he stared in the mirror.  Cheeks flushed and tear-stained, eyes red-rimmed, bottom lip quivering, holding back more whimpers and sobs.  He ran a hand through his hair, trying to smooth out the bedhead.  The clock in the bathroom only said 4 am.  

He composed himself, wiping his face and glaring at himself straight in the mirror.

"You are not weak."

He threw on a shirt and some sweatpants and grabbed his sword, storming out to the arena.  Training, training, training.  He hacked at dummies left and right, grunting with each swing.  He didn't notice the sun had come up hours later until he heard a familiar voice echo from across the arena.  He turned to see familiar green eyes and messy hair.

"Jason!"  Percy walked up to the boy, a worried expression holding his features.  "Dude, I called your name at least eight times...  You alright?"

"I'm fine," Jason replied shortly.  He huffed, wiping his forehead before bringing his sword up to swing again.  A firm hand caught his wrist, bringing the sword down.  Percy's eyes were dark as he glared at Jason.  

"Don't like to me, Sparky.  I came to bring you to breakfast."

Percy brought Jason to breakfast every morning, despite Jason's constant whining, complaining, and physical efforts to ignore the rumbling in his stomach.  Though, the rumbling had left his stomach ages ago.  He wasn't hungry anymore.  He didn't need to eat, he needed to get stronger.  He wasn't going to let anything get in the way of his training.

"I'm fine," Jason replied again, snarling at the son of Poseidon.  Percy didn't care for Jason's fights anymore.  Percy just wanted the son of Jupiter at breakfast.  He grabbed Jason's sword, hucking it across the arena as he let out a growl.  Jason had lost,  _again_.  Sighing, he followed Percy into the dining pavilion.  Jason had his own table.  He wasn't allowed to use it unless he promised to eat breakfast.  Jason didn't promise anything he couldn't keep.

Sitting him down at Table Three, Percy gave him a look.  "I'll be back.   _Stay_."  The constant patronising tone that Percy gave Jason got on the blond's nerves.  He simply gave Percy a sneer and pouted as the boy walked to go get food.  Jason wanted to leave.  He could see the door, basically inviting himself to go and leave the pavilion to train.  But, Percy would march after him and drag him back.  It had happened numerous times.

Jason spent too much time deciding because Percy arrived at the table quickly, setting down a plate in front of Jason.  Stacked high was fruits, some pancakes, bacon, and nothing that would make Jason upset.  Percy knew better.  The son of Poseidon had his usual plate, some blue waffles, a blueberry muffin, and scrambled eggs.

"So, what are you doing today," Percy asked in between bites.  "Anything interesting?"  He asked the same thing everyday to make sure Jason wasn't thinking about anything too hard.

"I thought about going canoeing," Jason muttered in response, picking at his bacon.  He saw Percy raise an eyebrow as he looked at him.

"Fun.  After that?"

"Sparring, maybe..."  Jason no longer had a schedule like the rest of camp.  Chiron decided that Jason needed to heal, rather than follow a schedule and become numb.  He mostly trained and sparred, only taking rare breaks for breakfast, dinner, and sleep.  

"You sparred yesterday," Percy pointed out.  Jason wasn't allowed to do the same thing two days in a row.  That developed a habit and the gods knew that Jason did  _not_ need to be developing a habit of over-exercising.

"Maybe canoeing," Jason corrected.  He stared at his plate, hearing Percy sigh. 

"You said that already, bud.  Maybe a nap today?"  

Jason's response was a dark glare back at Percy, who was no longer intimidated by the son of Jupiter and his looks.  "I don't want to sleep till tonight," he replied through gritted teeth.  Sleep meant dreams and dreams normally turned into nightmares.  Jason didn't need anymore of those.  He didn't think it was fair.  Percy had gone through hell itself and had less nightmares than Jason, who had a less traumatic time with another human being.

"Alright, archery?"  Percy was completely unfazed by Jason's composure and honestly, that pissed Jason off.  He could intimidate most other people but, Percy Jackson was just so perfect, wasn't he?

"I'd probably shoot myself," Jason muttered under his breath.  He could  _feel_ the disapproving look Percy gave him as he took a small bite of his food.  "Can't I just go running or something?  I haven't gone in like, a week," Jason complained, looking up at his friend.  Percy gave him an unusual look, frowning.

"I'd have to go with you and, I can't today, man..."

"Let me go alone," Jason blurted out.  That just received an even  _more_ disapproving look.  "I'll behave," Jason added quickly.  "I promise.  I swear it.  On the River Styx."  Percy frowned more at this.

"Don't make promises like that, Jason."

"I already swore," Jason argued.  "Let me go, Perce,  _please_."  He gave Percy a pleading look before the son of Poseidon rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath.  

"Fine.  Don't kill anyone."

Jason was already half-way out of the pavilion after Percy had rolled his eyes.  He sprinted to his cabin, changing quickly.  He grabbed his coin and started on a jog behind his cabin, starting his run.  

Jason was strong.  

Jason was tough.  

Jason could do whatever he wanted.

Jason was in control.

 

* * *

 

 

Bitter laughter, dark spots in his vision, the searing pain of heartbreak.  A bus was running over his rib cage, two hands strangling him, more pain coursing through his veins as the laughter continued in his mind.  His ears rang with the horrible sounds and he doubled over, trying to make the pain swelling in his core stop.  But, it wouldn't stop.  The pain continued.

He opened his eyes wide, seeing millions of things happen at once.  Huge, large, giant spiders, crawling out of crevices in the marble, all coming after him.  A scream escaped his throat as he jumped back before tripping.  Then, he was falling, darkness surrounding him, swallowing him whole.  His screams carried, ringing through his ears as he clenched his eyes shut.  Then it was blood, blood, blood.  Everywhere was stained red, leaving him crying out in pain on the ground.  Was the blood his?  Did it belong to someone else?

Of course, when it everything did cease, it was so sudden, it knocked him on his back, sprawling him out on the ground.  He groaned, trying to sit up but, the nausea in his stomach kept him pinned to the ground.  His eyes scanned the area around him, the same horrible place.  He couldn't escape, he could only hear his laboured breathing and strangled screams for help.

 _My precious demigod..._  The voice, it whispered through the air, sending chills down his spine.  It was so soft yet, it haunted his mind, plaguing his thoughts of when it would return.   _Little one, I don't want to hurt you, precious..._  He scoffed.  Bullshit.   _My darling, please talk to me..._

He groaned in response, trying to sit up.  A sharp pain his chest helped him sit up quickly, trying to stop the source of pain.  He sat up straight, clawing his way to standing.  He stood there, panting and sweating, the salty liquid dripping down his forehead.  Something was broken, something was gone, something was utterly wrong with him but, he couldn't care right now.  He  _knew_ he was going to die, it was just a matter of time.

Or who.

He snarled as the figure was behind him.  She wrapped her long arms around his torso, pulling him into a long hug.  Her lips pressed against his hair as he struggled against her grip, growling and shouting curses at her.

"Let me go," he barked.  Another sudden rush of pain through his lungs and he stopped for a moment, falling limp in her arms.   _Hush, hush, hush, my demigod.  You shouldn't struggle like that, it's not nice..._

"Let me go," he said once more, suddenly wailing in her arms.  He couldn't handle it, the torture and the plague of her in his mind.  He couldn't take all the abuse and the tricks, the horrible thoughts and visions, he wanted it to end!

_My darling, this is all for you..._

More sobs echoed through her palace as he struggled, pulling against her weakly.  She turned him around, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, trying to soothe him.   _Hush, little baby don't you cry..._ She began to sing, making him scream in pain and horror.  Her vocal chords scratched and scathed him, bathing him in horrible tones that penetrated his ears, causing more horrific scenes to delve into his mind.  He tried to close his eyes but the nightmares followed him as he looked around.  

Darkness...  Blood...  Bones...  His sister, his friends, his enemies, his mentors, his father,  _everyone_.  Everyone was dead, it was all his fault.   _My darling_ , she whispered.   _Look at what you've done, you poor thing...  Did you mean it?_

"No," he whimpered, curling in her grasp.  He tugged at her white toga, letting out another horrific sob and scream.  She hushed him, smoothing out his hair.   _Hush, love, it's alright..._

_"LET ME GO!"_


	2. Colour Me Blue

_**I can't say no** _   
_**Though the lights are on** _   
_**There's nobody home** _   
_**Swore I'd never lose control** _   
_**Then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow** _

* * *

 

Jab, jab, jab, parry, hit, strike, dodge, swipe, ja-

"I can't believe you, you know."  Jason turned to see Percy again, frowning.  He had gripped Jason's wrist once more, a fierce gaze in his eyes.  Jason lowered his eyes, letting his sword clatter to the ground.  He had done so many different things today and honestly, it was like Percy just  _wanted_ to be upset with him.  The raven haired boy sighed, watching Jason pout.  "Jason, you know you're not supposed to train today.  It's your rest day..."

Jason shook his head, looking back up at Percy.  "No, I don't  _have_ a rest day, Percy.  I  _have_ to keep training.  What if monsters get into the camp," he asked, his eyes hard on Percy's.  

"Jason, you live in a camp full of hundreds of kids who have so many different skills.  It'll be fine.  Let's get you back to your room, alright?"  Percy began to tug on Jason's wrist, trying to pull him out of the arena but, the blond pulled back, his look dark, fixed on the son of Poseidon.

"No," Jason shouted.  "I can't!  I'm not finished."  The blond took his wrist from Percy's grasp with a snarl, holding it to his chest.  His expression was almost hurt, as if it was because Percy didn't understand.  Granted, no one understood Jason's behaviour.  No one knew why he acted the way he did, why his entire disposition changed.  

"Jason," Percy warned.  "We're going back to your cabin."  His words came out ground, each one digging deeper into Jason.  He hissed at Percy, picking up his sword again.  This time, the tip was aimed at the son of Poseidon.  Shock flashed over Percy's expression as he took a step back.  Sure, Jason had tried a lot of things but, he hadn't tried this yet.  He hadn't threatened anyone yet.

"Let me finish," Jason replied calmly, his serenity chilling Percy to the bone.  A physical shiver swept through Percy as he saw the look in Jason's eyes.  This look, the animal in the look actually frightened Percy.  He had never seen Jason like this before.

"You know I can't let you do that, Jason.  C'mon,  _please_ , just come and relax."  Percy was almost to the point of pleading for Jason to come.  He needed to talk to Chiron about this later, about his behaviour this time.  He swallowed thickly and watched the blond.  His arm began to lower the sword before he suddenly lunged at Percy.

Barely missing the sword, Percy dodged.  The imperial gold left a gash across his right arm but, that didn't stop him from pinning Jason to the ground, kicking the weapon away.  The string of curses, both in Latin and English, had attracted attention to the arena as campers walked over to see the two boys on the ground.  Percy growled, trying to keep Jason down as he thrashed and snapped.

It broke Percy's heart, seeing his friend so barren, so broken.  He held Jason down as campers went to get Chiron and Mr. D.  Percy watched as the centaur and god raced over.  He watched as they pulled him off and Jason off the ground, controlling him.  Someone gave Jason a sedative, sending him into a chilling sleep as he growled softly.  Percy watched as they towed him to his cabin.  He watched as they left him on the bed, stripping the cabin of anything that could leave him doing something.

Percy couldn't handle it.  He was so broken.  Jason wasn't supposed to be broken.  Yet, there he was, stripped of dignity because he couldn't handle one single event.  Percy couldn't handle it either.

-

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...

_I am in control...  I am in control...  I am in control..._

He didn't need Percy.  He didn't need Chiron.  He didn't need Piper.  He didn't need Reyna.  He didn't need Leo. 

He didn't need Nico.

So why did it hurt the most when he didn't need him?

Jason sat on the bathroom floor, picking at his toothbrush.  He had been doing it the past forty-five minutes, watching the bristles smooth across his fingers, pressing into the pads gently.  He watched how the dirt and grit from his fingers slowly disappeared.  He watched the movement, trying to calm down.

"I tried to kill Percy," he muttered.  "I'm in control."

The truth was, Jason was  _not_ in control.  No matter what he thought, he was never right.  He wasn't in control, in fact he was so out of control, he couldn't tell what he was doing.  

The sedative made Jason sleep for hours.  He missed lunch and dinner, thank the gods, and finally, it was around four in the morning.  He  _could_ go spar...  And risk the events of yesterday again?  Absolutely not...  What had he not done the past couple of days?  He canoed yesterday, sparred, ran, did the lava wall.  Jason had done plenty of things yesterday, despite being a rest day.

If only flying required more effort.  But, that was enough exercise.

Maybe today he could do some 'light' work.  He could work in his cabin all day, doing push ups and pull ups.  He could count how many curl ups he could do in one song (around four minutes) and then try and beat the record.  He was good at that, beating all his records.  If he tried hard enough, he could do it without getting sick or passing out.

The blond stood up and looked in the mirror.  His torso was lean, not starving.  But, he could see a few ribs.  They were so ugly.  Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair, which had also been losing mass.  Was he getting sick?  He was trying to stay healthy.  He exercised right, slept enough (sort of).  So, what was he doing wrong?  Maybe...  Maybe he wasn't running enough?  Percy wouldn't kill him for doing a warm up jog, right?  It was just a jog.  And, long distance running required his lean torso.  It would most definitely help.

Smiling to himself, Jason went into the main room.  He threw on a pair of joggers, a tank top, and his running shoes (which were becoming worn out).  Leo, being a genius, had designed Jason an iPod that kept him motivated in his attempts to exercise more.  It had worked wonderfully and now, Jason could exercise whenever and have the perfect soundtrack.

He put his earbuds in and started out his jog, running past the cabins.  Short jog.  Just a short jog.

-

"Jason Grace,  _twenty miles_ is not a 'short jog'."  Yes, Jason had done twenty miles.  It was almost a marathon and he had done it in four hours.  He had gotten back just as breakfast was starting, an angry Percy Jackson waiting for him at his cabin.

"I'm fine, Percy!  That's almost a marathon!  Aren't you proud?"  Jason pushed past his friend, walking into his cabin.  The blond stripped his shirt and started to change into clean clothes, rolling his eyes at Percy's chastising.

"Proud that you're exercising your ass off?!  Right, because I'm proud that you're killing yourself."  Percy scoffed, following Jason in, slamming the door shut.  "You're  _sick,_ " Percy said, exasperated.  "You need to stop!"

"I know I'm sick," Jason snapped, turning to glare at Percy.  "That's why I'm exercising!  It'll make sure I'm healthy next time!"

Percy let out a groan of frustration, pulling at his hair.  "You don't get it, you idiot!  Jason, you're starving yourself!  You're sick in the head!"  He marched right over, pulling Jason's shirt up just as it went down.  He poked each showing rib.  "Eight ribs, Jason.  I can see  _eight_ ribs."  Percy's stare bore into Jason's eyes, making the blond uncomfortable.  He pulled his shirt down, returning the look to the son of Poseidon.

"Don't touch me like that."

Percy growled once more.  "Ooooh, right!  Poking you is wrong!  It's because you're uncomfortable with your body!  EAT SOMETHING."  Percy's voice was raised as he gesticulated wildly, cussing in Greek as he ranted and walked around the cabin.  "Stop starving yourself!  You're not Nico!"

Stop.

Stop!

STOP.

That was  _not_ okay.

Jason was  _not_ okay with that at all.

"Don't you  _dare_ mention him," Jason spat, stalking towards Percy.  He shoved the raven haired boy away.  "Nico isn't here, Percy!  He's  _gone_!  He left!  You wanna know why he left?!  Because of you!  Because you're too damn oblivious of you and your stupid girlfriend and how you're not gay enough for Nico!"

Percy stopped, staring at Jason in bewilderment, not able to say anything back.

"He's in love with you and now he's gone!  He left because he couldn't do anything!"

Percy looked at Jason before shaking his head in confusion.  "Jason, stop-"

"I won't," the blond shouted back stubbornly.

"No, stop you idiot," Percy said once more.  "Nico told me.  Months ago.  Like,  _after_ the war with Gaea...  Jason, are you okay?"

Now Jason had to stop.

Wait.

That happened?

What about the rest?

What was real?

What wasn't?

What?

"I-I..."  Jason looked up at Percy, feeling horror don on him.  "I don't know."

* * *

His hand trembled as he sat at the dinner table.  He kept his head down, staring at his plate while spooning corn into his mouth slowly.  He could feel  _her_ gaze on him as he ate but, he couldn't look up.

 _"My demigod, please look at me.  I want to see that pretty face..._ "  It was terrifying but, he looked up anyways.  Her features were different today.  She wore the same white toga with gold accents.  Her hair was a pastel blue, all curled up in some Greek style.  She smiled, her lips stretched upwards, covered in a metallic blue lipstick.  The rest of her makeup matched, heavy blue eye shadow and dark black eyeliner.  The most fascinating thing about her today were her eyes.  One was a bright blue, the other a dark green.  It was so strange to look at, definitely more different than yesterday's dark orange.

 _"My darling, have I told you who I am yet?_ "

He shook his head, watching her carefully, the way her hands danced around her plate carefully.  It was a long table, rows of chairs and plates all the way down.  He sat at one end, she sat at the other and sometimes, he had a hard time hearing her.

 _"Good, it was a surprised.  And, thank goodness now is the time."_ She giggled and took a sip of wine from her silver goblet.  He watched the wine fall from her cup onto her white dress, staining the fabric a deep red colour.   _"My precious, my name is Mania, goddess of the dead and insanity.  Well, that's a_ mixture _of who I am.  Of course, being both Roman and Greek, I can be whatever I want."_  A wicked grin crossed her face, sending chills down his spine.

Mania let out a throaty laugh and looked at him, watching him with her mismatched eyes.   _"So, demigod.  Do you know who_ you _are?"_

He would hope so.

He coughed, not having heard his voice in days.  "N-Nico," he coughed out.  "Nico di Angelo, son of Hades and Maria di Angelo."

Nico jumped as Mania suddenly wailed with laughter, leaning back in her seat as tears streamed from her cheeks.  She calmed down quickly, giggling at the boy. _"You mention your mumsie?  How adorable!"_ Nico furrowed his eyebrows at the goddess, watching her carefully.  

"Why does that amuse you?  She's my mother."

" _Your_ dead _mother,"_ she taunted, laughing harder.  She looked at the empty plates at the table and laughed some more.   _"Did you hear him?  He's hilarious."_  It was as if she was talking to other guests.  But, no one else was here.

Nico's cheeks burned.  He should've been upset but, for some odd reason he was embarrassed.  Of course he'd mention his mother but, this time it was out of a reason he didn't know.  He lowered his head again, listening to the rambling of Mania to her 'guests'.

-

Dinner dragged on and finally, Mania let Nico go to his 'room'.  He didn't know what to think of her large palace.  It was horrifying and quite similar to a certain place he used to find solace in, the large white marble arches and columns.  Nico shivered, listening to his socked feet pad across the floor, like he was walking down the hall to a specific bedroom.

The creaking of the door sent another influx of horrible memories.  The door creaked and he stepped inside, seeing a familiar bed and a familiar person.  Suddenly, Nico didn't feel the unease of the palace.  In fact, he didn't even  _think_ he was in the palace.  He padded over to the bed, slipping under the covers into the arms of his best friend.

"Did you get that glass of water you needed," a low voice rumbled.  Nostalgia coursed through Nico's veins as he nodded and buried his face into the warm chest.  His nose brushed against the purple fabric of the shirt his friend wore.  He could feel a nose brushing through his hair, inhaling and sighing sweetly.  Nico smiled softly, trying to also inhale.  He wanted to smell the familiar ozone smell, the familiar scent of grass and soap but, he didn't smell anything.

Instead, he smelt salt.  At first, he thought of Percy but, those thoughts were cut off as he sat up in the bed quickly.  That's right.  He wasn't there.

It was a bed alright.  It was in a marble palace, similar to Cabin 1 at camp.  He looked down, expecting to see the face of his friend, Jason but, instead was a pillow, tears having stained the fabric of the blue pillowcase.  Tears.  Salty tears.  Nico lifted his fingers to brush his cheeks, feeling the same wetness on them, the same scent still trailing through his nose.  It wasn't anything like Jason, it was all him.  It smelled like sadness and anger and want.  

That's right.

Nico was here.

In Mania's palace.

 

Alone.

 


	3. Big Pill Looming

**Have I found you?**

**Flightless bird, jealous, weeping**

**Or lost you?**

**American mouth**

**Big pill looming**

“That’s not fair!”  Jason’s chair had fallen back as he stood up, clattering to the ground.  Clarisse beside him jumped at the sound, giving him a glare.  “No, no, no, you  _ have  _ to let me go, Chiron!”  Jason’s blue eyes were frozen over, puffy and covered in tears.  His voice was rough and rasped but he shouted anyway.

“He’s not your responsibility,” Will snapped, also standing.  “He wasn’t your boyfriend, Grace.”  The two blond demigods glared at each other with a dark intensity as Chiron cleared his throat.

“I’m not sending  _ either  _ of you if you’re going to be this ridiculous about this matter.  Nico di Angelo is missing and we cannot waste time arguing.  I understand that you both want to get the son of Hades back but, there are  _ precautions  _ we must take and you cannot let your emotions drive your decisions.”  The centaur gave them both a look before having them sit down.  Jason kept his gaze cold as he focused back on Chiron, Will’s blazing, angry.

“Will’s just going to keep me here with one of his precious doctor’s notes,” Jason muttered.

“At least you’re actually sick,” Will mumbled back, giving Jason another dark look.  The son of Jupiter returned it.  Outside, Percy noticed clouds gathering.  He placed a hand on Jason’s arm just to feel the electricity coursing through his veins and to his hair, where it stood up on both their arms.

“Will, that was out of line and you know it,” Percy warned.

“Nothing’s out of line in war,” Clarisse argued.

“It’s not a wa-”

“Of course it is-”

“Who are we fighting against?”

“You know perfectly well, Jackso-”

“ENOUGH.”  The demigods in the council expected the booming voice to belong to Chiron but instead, their attention turned to a certain demigod who stood in the doorway.  A long, dark braid hung over her shoulder as she walked in, her cape billowing behind her.

“Praetor,” Chiron greeted, relieved.  “We’re glad to see you made it.”  He motioned for Reyna to sit down between Percy and himself as more Romans walked into the room.  There was Hazel and Frank, Dakota, and a few other faces that neither Jason or Percy recognised.

“We’re glad to be here.  May I ask what this ‘discussion’ was about,” Reyna questioned curtly.  She turned her attention to Jason and Will for a split-second before turning back to Chiron.

“We’re discussing on how we want to approach the situation with Nico di Angelo.”  He sighed, watching Reyna with old eyes.  She glanced around the table.

“I’m open to whatever you all have.”

“I want to go on a quest,” Jason said, standing up.  Desperation laced into his voice as he looked at Reyna.  She didn’t let it show but, pity seeped through her for Jason.  He was thinner than the last time she had seen him and honestly, she didn’t know what to think of it.

“I think that’s a stupid idea,” Will cut in, standing up as well, following Jason’s stature.  He looked at Reyna, the intensity of his gaze burning into her.  “He can barely go without crying and walking, much less fighting.”

“He practises every day,” Percy mentioned.  “He’s a perfect fighter.  He’d be perfect to have on a quest.”

“Would you stop defending your stupid boyfriend, Jackson,” Clarisse snapped.  “Don’t let him leave, he’s gonna get everyone killed.”  She scoffed, rolling her eyes to ignore the hurt in Jason's expression as he continued to plead to Reyna with his eyes.  Reyna sighed, looking between the four demigods in front of her.  She couldn't handle the pressure.  Not when her friends were involved.  But, she  _ had  _ to make a decision.

"Jason's going on a quest.  He's going to bring Percy and myself and we're going to look for di Angelo."  Her eyes scanned the rest of the table as Will shot up once more, obviously angered.  

"You can't be serious!  That's a joke!"

"William," Chiron snapped.  "Calm yourself and sit down."

Will sat begrudgingly, glaring at Reyna and Percy, who were exchanging worried looks.  They understood that Will was stressed but, they couldn't help but ponder why exactly.

Everyone thought that Nico had left.  Everyone thought that Nico decided to up and leave because he broke it off with Will.  They had had a large argument, resulting in screaming, crying, a slap, and eventually several apologies leading them to be just friends.  No one still left the wonder if Nico had been kidnapped.  It was kind of ridiculous, how most people thought that Nico was still dense enough to not realise that he was loved, to not realise he could stay.  Nico  _ knew _ he could stay.  Damn straight he knew.

"My choices are not jokes, Will," Reyna growled.  "If you consider them so, we can  _ discuss  _ it like civilised humans.  We're not supposed to be at each other's throats."  She shot him a look and he sighed.

"Look, I'm serious, I don't want Nico hurt."

"None of us do," Jason said quietly beside him.  "I understand he was your boyfriend, Will, but there are plenty of other people who still cared about him enough to stress..."  He sighed, playing with his fingers on the table.  Percy sighed beside him, squeezing his shoulder. 

"It's true, Will.  We're all worried.  No one has a right to say they're more worried than the other."  Percy watched Will as he tried to calm down.  He could feel waves of anxiety roll off the son of Apollo.

"Maybe you need a break," Clarisse offered, placing her hand on his arm.  Will shook his head stubbornly.

"Not until we find Nico."

Another collective sigh from the group.

"Don't end up like me," Jason said suddenly.  "You need sleep and food and exercise and you need to stay healthy for Nico.  Go rest, Will."  No one expected it.  They sat, slightly stunned before Jason stood and left the big house, running a hand through his hair.

For eight days, Jason had locked himself in his cabin.  He hadn't left all except for that meeting.  Percy brought him food, which he tried to eat willingly.  It always ended up in either not eating or being force-fed by Percy.  Jason had nightmares every night and he was the first sign that Nico had been taken.  Now, he was back in his cabin.  He found himself locking the door and flopping onto the bed, sighing as he looked at the other pillow, unoccupied by Nico.

"I'm sorry," Jason whispered.  He thought about it.  How would Nico react if he found out about what Jason had been doing.  He wondered what Nico would say to Jason refusing to eat, always practising, always trying to stay healthy.  Jason never outwardly admitted to his problem, his  _ disorder _ but, inwardly, he knew exactly what everyone was talking about.

Sighing once more, the blond fell asleep quickly, trying to take his mind of the missing son of Hades.

* * *

 

" _ No, no, no, darling _ ," Mania cried, clutching Nico's wrists.  He hissed at the touch and tried to pull back, only earning a harsher tug.  " _ You're doing it all wrong!" _  The goddess took the knife from his fingers and cut into the animal in front of him.  At the moment, Mania was trying to teach Nico how to offer up animals to the gods.  A sacrifice pleased them.  Of course, Nico didn't think that she realised that they also took grapes and peanut M&Ms.  

"P-Please, no," Nico stuttered, looking away as the goddess impaled the small lamb in front of her.  He felt a splat against his cheek and shuddered as his fingertips felt the sticky texture of blood.  Gagging, Nico finally pulled away and heaved into a small garbage can beside the counter.  This hadn't been the first time today and at this rate, it  _ had  _ to be unhealthy.

" _ My darling, you  _ must _ watch!" _  She pulled him back, forcing his eyes open with the snap of her fingers.  He watched in horror as she continued to slice and dice the lamb, creating a large mess.  Dark red stained Mania's yellow dress today, her hands soaking in the copper liquid.  She sighed, wiping a streak of blood across her forehead.  She handed the sticky knife back to Nico and brushed her bloody hands across her dress.   _ "You try.  You must know how to do this, little demigod.  Otherwise, the Olympians will become upset with you.” _

Nico let out a whine, trying to pull back.  “I don’t want to!”  The goddess’ glare become colder as she forced him back at the table.  

_ “Nico di Angelo, you will slaughter this lamb or I will slaughter your life.”   _ The words left her tongue sharply, sending chills down Nico’s spine as he shuddered and turned away.  Mania pinched his side, suddenly sending him into another horrendous moment of memories.

 

_ “Quit being so depressing, Neeks.”  Jason laughed, pinching Nico’s side, causing the boy to yelp and back off.  The son of Hades gave Jason a glare, which melted at the sight of the blond laughing, the curve on the scar on his lip resembling a crescent shape. _

_ “Why are you like this,” Nico whined, falling into a trap full of giggles and squeals of laughter as Jason’s fingers danced under his shirt.  Nico slapped Jason’s hands away, or at least tried to, laughing harder, tears streaming down his face. _

 

This pinch from Mania wasn’t ticklish though, it was painful.  He shied away, taking the knife with shaking hands.  Why was it so hard for him to kill something?  He was surrounded by death and he had killed before.  This wasn’t even a human, much less a demigod, it was a lamb.  But for some reason, Nico still couldn’t do it.

“My Lady, I’m tired.  Can we please be finished with the activities today?”  He looked up at Mania with large eyes, pleading silently.  He couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t kill the lamb.

“ _ After this, sweet demigod.  Now, kill it. _ ”  She offered him the knife once more and Nico sighed, seeing the determination in her face.  She wouldn’t give up until Nico was dead.  She sighed and watched the boy, hands shaking worse as he drove the knife into the soft white wool.

Nico didn’t realise the sob escaped his lips until a cold hand rested on his shoulder.

“ _ Well done, my precious.  Now, sleep.”   _

A sudden blackness hit Nico and he was asleep.


	4. You Didn't Have To Cut Me Off

_**Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over** _

_**But had me believing it was always something that I'd done** _

_**And I don't wanna live that way** _

_**Reading into every word you say** _

_**You said that you could let it go** _

_**And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know** _

* * *

A small bumpy road for  _miles_.  Percy was stuck in a car with Jason Grace for  _hours_.  He was surprised that he hadn't gone insane yet.

Jason didn't talk in the car unless he needed to use the bathroom or he thought that someone else should drive.  His silence was the thing that nerved Percy, made him uncomfortable.  The blond sat in the back of the car, staring out the window, occasionally tapping his fingers to the song on the radio.  Otherwise, he didn't make a sound.  Reyna seemed to notice this and tried to make conversation but, always failed when Jason gave one-word answers.

They had almost reached California by the time Percy couldn't take the harsh silence anymore.

"Jay, you eaten today?"

"No."

Another short answer.

"You want something?"

"No."

"You should eat something, Jason."

"No, thanks."

Two words that time.

Percy heard Reyna sigh as she pulled the car into the lot of a gas station.  Hopping out of the car, Percy followed her, standing beside her as they filled up the car.  "What do we do with him," Percy asked, sighing.  Reyna gave him a delated look and sighed, shrugging.  Her arms were crossed over her purple shirt casually and Percy thought it was the first time he had seen her in jeans in years.

"I don't know.  We can't  _make_ him do anything."  More silence between them.  "How close to Cali are we?  Nico  _has_ to be there..."

"Close," Percy answered.  "If he's not, I don't know what we'll do...  Jason, he-"  He looked back into the car to see Jason finally slumped asleep.  "Do you think he gets nightmares now?"

Reyna turned to look as well.  "I really hope not."

The two watched him, frowning.  Percy was genuinely worried about the son of Jupiter.  He had gone from the rule-oriented, powerful, stern demigod to a helpless, hostile, hungry demigod, unable to keep up with the rest of the world around him.  Reyna noticed it too.  She became antagonised by Jason's attitude and didn't know how to help him.  He had never been a problem before so, why was he acting up now.

Well, Nico.

Nico was the problem.  Missing, gone, vanished, his disappearance had completely wrecked Jason.  The day that Jason found out Nico was gone, he had fallen faster than any angel to hell.  For weeks, he prayed to the gods for Nico to come back.  They sent out search parties, asked around to other people.  He asked Will  _everything_ , which just made Will more of a mess.

Months later and Jason was sick.  He was riddled with anxiety, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia.  Will had diagnosed him with anorexia, Jason never participated.  He became anti-social, hostile, full of wreck and havoc, having lost all trust.

Jason rejected Percy's help for ages but finally, he had to give in after stern orders from Chiron.

But, in the end, Jason was still sick.  Probably worse than before.

* * *

_"Nico!"  Running, running, running, dashing down a span of black glassy sand as the son of Jupiter sprinted after Nico di Angelo.  The boy ran faster, ignoring Jason's calls and pleas, never turning around to see the blond.  Glassy eyed and tired, he wanted to quit chasing Nico but, he needed to find him.  He couldn't leave Nico alone like this._

_Jason stopped, trying to focus on getting Nico to come close.  He almost saw Nico turn around before the dream shifted._

_Warmth.  Arms and legs tangled, lazy kisses skimming across chests, shoulders, and any exposed skin.  Jason let out a sigh, pulling the smaller demigod toward him.  Nico nuzzled into Jason's neck, pressing a kiss there before letting out a soft noise._

_"Jason?"_

_"Yeah, Neeks?"_

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too..."_

_"Will you always come for me?"_

_"More than always, Nico."_

_More soft kisses._

_"Then why aren't you here?"_

* * *

"JASON."  The blond woke up screaming, flailing as two warm hands held his shoulders.  Percy had him pinned in the back seat, his expression worried and bewildered.  Reyna was in the driver seat, always surprised and mildly shocked, seeing Jason crying and panting as he woke up.  He looked between the two of them before crawling out from under Percy and pulling back into his seat.

"Gods, are you alright," Percy asked, slightly breathless, like he had fought against a thrashing Jason.  The blond watched Percy for a minute before nodding.

"Fine."

Percy sighed and looked down, heaving for breath before leaning back on the seat.  "You're not but, I'm not going to press it.  We have a lead so, get ready.  You're sure you can handle it?"

"I'm  _fine_ ," Jason snapped, earning a pinch to his side from Reyna.

"Play nice, Grace."

They all got out of the car, glancing around.  Jason recognised several locations and realised they were in California.  He exchanged glances with Reyna before grabbing his gladius and walking down the street.

"Whoa, hold up," Percy called, grabbing Jason's shoulder.  "No barging.  Put your gladius in the car, we're just taking a walk."

"But, mons-"

"No, put it back."  Percy's voice was stern as he sent Jason a strong look.  The blond sighed and put his weapon back in the car.  "So, Jason, have you ever been to Disneyland?"

"Excuse me?"

* * *

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Screams, whimpers, sobs, cries, sounds that sent chills down Nico's spine.

Mania locked herself in the top of her manor and was sending out waves of hallucinations, which were getting to Nico.  He saw things, heard things, felt things, but he knew that it wasn't real.  For some reason, the terror still coursed through his veins with a jolt every time Mania let out a blood-curdling scream.

Tremors knocked Nico onto his bed as he curled up and tried to flush out all the horrible memories that continued to resurface in his mind.  Jason's laugh, his smile, the way his scar twisted when he smiled.  He remembered Jason's favourite food, why he loved rain so much, why he preferred Backstreet Boys to N'SYNC.  Nico remembered all their discussions and moments of quietness and touches.

He let out a soft sob as he dug his face into the pillow.  Nico was so emotional, it made him feel vulnerable.  He cried so often, he was dehydrated.  He showed so much, he was scared someone would see.

Jason.

He just wanted Jason.

How was Jason?  Did he think that Nico left?  How disappointed would Jason be if he found out that Nico had been so horrible with his time with Mania.  He had killed numerous animals at this point, cried at everything, and had been threatened to behave or he would be killed.  Honestly, Nico wanted death but, not if Jason was still an option.

 "Nico..."  

The dark boy glanced over to see a certain blond standing at his door.  Almost running to the son of Jupiter, he stopped, wiping his cheeks harshly.  No, no, no, no...  It was Jason, it looked like him, it stood like him, it probably smelled like him.  Hell, it was probably an exact copy.

"Y-You're not real," Nico whispered quietly.

"Shhh..."  Jason took a step towards the bed, reaching a hand out gently.  "You can touch me, Nico..."

"You're not real..."  Nico croaked miserably, shying away from the man.

Another step.  "Nico, please...  I wanna hold you, Neeks."

Tears, tears, tears, tears, crying.  Nico was crying.  He couldn't stop it, wiping his cheeks and sniffing, he tried to calm himself.

"You're not real, Jason..."

The blond crawled onto the bed, letting Nico sob and shy up to the headboard of the bed, hiding his face.  Warm hands gripped his waist, pulling him away from the collection of pillows, shushing filling his ears.  "Nico, hush, baby, it's okay..."

Nico didn't feel comfort in Jason's arms this time.  He felt anxiety rushing for him, he felt heat from Jason's hands, singeing him instead of warming him.  The sounds from Jason's throat were harsher than normal, more commanding than loving.  "Stop crying..."

"You're not real..."

"Nico, I'm right here."  Harsh, sharp, aggrivated.

"You're not real."

"You can feel me, can't you?!"  Suddenly fingers bruised his arms, his sides, tugging the son of Hades closer.  Nico let out a yelp of pain, trying to pull away from Jason.  

"That hurts!  Jason, stop!"

"How fake am I now," Jason snapped.  Teeth grazed Nico's neck and it sent chills down his spine.  Growling, he tried to pull away.  He didn't want any of this.  It was all making him angry, anxious, annoyed. 

"Jason,  _stop_!"

And then Jason was gone.  Mania stood at the end of the bed, glowering at Nico with a growl.  Her blonde hair was messy and tangled, in horrible need of a brush.  Both eyes were bright red, fire blazing behind them as they suddenly went gray-ish red.  Her dress was torn, blood and wine stains covering the fabric and her skin.  Nico sucked in a breath, watching the goddess growl louder.

" _Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason_ ," she wailed, mocking Nico.  " _Jason, save me!  Jason, help!  Jason, I love you!_ "  She screamed, her nails tearing down her cheeks as she clawed at her face.  Her grey skin tore easily as she snapped at Nico.  " _Jason is gone!_ You _are gone!  NO ONE WILL FIND YOU. Stop crying and move on, demigod!"_

Nico retracted, crying harder.  He was terrified, not just of Mania but of his situation.  He wanted to go home, he wanted to go back to Camp Half-Blood, he wanted to go back to Jason and Percy and Will and Reyna.  He didn't want to be alone with the goddess anymore.  

"Let me go," he wailed, curling up.  The chill in the room disappeared as suddenly Mania had her arms wrapped around him.

 _"My precious, I'm so sorry for startling you...  I love you, my dear.  Let's get you cleaned up..."_  Nico was forced to look up, nails digging into his chin as he saw Mania.  She was back to normal, looking godly again.  Her hair was curled, a golden colour.  Makeup covered her tan skin and her eyes were bright blue, very similar to Jason's.  She helped him up, cradling him in her clean dress.

Soft sobs escaped Nico's lips as the goddess carried him to the bathroom.  She stripped him of his dark clothing quickly and placed him in the bath, beginning to clean his scrapes and tear-streaks.  Scars covered his body, some of them irritated and bleeding.  The bath water stayed clear the entire time though.  When she was done, she gave him a fresh set of his skull t-shirt and jeans and brushed his hair and teeth.

" _My good boy...  Sleep well, my darling..."_  She sent him off to bed, tucking him into the satin sheets before leaving the demigod to his thoughts.

 

_Please find me, Jason..._


	5. I'm Forced To Deal With What I Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... It's, it's been a while. :3

**There's no hiding for me**

**I'm forced to deal with what I feel**

**There is no distraction to mask what is real**

**I could pull the steering wheel**

"Hey, Mister.  Where'd you get that scar?"  Tug, tug, tug, tug, tug.  A small boy, probably six, continued to tug on Jason's jeans as the blond ignored him (like the past fifteen minutes).  He was mentioning the scar that went across Jason's arm, looking cooler than cool.  "Mister!  Mister, where'd ya get it?!"

"Listen, kid," Jason suddenly snapped, spinning around.  He glared at the boy, who had frozen on the spot.  "I got this scar from a car accident, cool, huh?  I almost lost my sister!  Cool, huh?  I have PTSD from that,  _ cool, huh?!" _

"Jason," Reyna chastised, pulling him back.  She shot an apologetic look at the boy's mother, who had just noticed the outburst from Jason.  "Jason, stop.  Come here, we can't draw attention to ourselves," she hissed, pulling back down the line to Percy, who waited impatiently.  As soon as Jason stood beside the son of Poseidon, Percy smacked the back of his head, growling.

"What the hell was that," Jason asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Keep your cool, man.  It's just a little kid."

"They're everywhere," Jason cried.  "Why are we here?  Is Nico here?!"

"Hush," Percy and Reyna said in unison.  Percy subtly motioned to a worker not far off, selling ice cream.  Jason figured they were normal before his vision flashed and stuttered, causing the worker to grow a tail and the head of a lion.  Jason froze.   _ Chimera _ , that wasn't good.  "We think that Nico's in the manor," Percy hissed.  "There are  _ so _ many lares here, it's a bit crazy."

"We  _ did _ narrow the kidnappers down to Hades or Mania but, Hades wouldn't kidnap his own son.  And if he did, he would bring Nico to the underworld, not DisneyLand," Reyna explained.  She motioned to the ride they were in line for, their bodies inching to the front.  "We think that the Haunted Manor is where Mania is keeping Nico.  It's our only lead at this point."

"How did you guys come up with this?  How did you know so many lares would be in California?"

"We went and visited Camp Jupiter while you were out," Reyna said.  "Dakota said that more and more lares were either leaving camp or word of them was spreading.  Stupid ghost hunting businesses are swarming through Cali because everyone keeps, 'seeing ghosts'."  Reyna sighed.  "So, we figured any god that was involved with death or ghosts.  Hades, Mania, Thanatos, etc."

Jason sighed and looked around as they walked into the ride.  Children swarmed the line, crying and whining, giving Jason a headache.  He didn't know what to think, he just wanted to get Nico out of there and back to came.  Gods, was it Jason's fault?  Did he make Nico leave and Nico was kidnapped?  Jason couldn't handle the stress, it hurt his brain too much.

The line moved slower than anything Jason had seen before and finally, he, Percy and Reyna sat in a car together, crammed in, ready for the ride.  The Manor was decorated in Nightmare Before Christmas items, which dulled down the creepy aura just a bit.  Jason noticed all the lares, dancing around and guarding different large animations and employees, only who Jason could guess as monsters.

It was weird, seeing so many lares in a different place than Camp Jupiter.  The ghosts were eerie to Jason, putting him on edge.  He was alert and his neck whipped back and forth to watch all the ghosts.  Percy and Reyna didn't seem any less concerned than him.  They both looked around, Percy's eyes narrowed as he watched all the ghosts.  

"The first stop is here, where we watch some of the mansion's tricks," Reyna muttered into Jason's ear.  The car stopped, like she said and they hopped out of it subtly, using the shadows to travel behind the scenes, trying to avoid the lares and ghosts.  

"Let's go find Nico," Jason whispered, walking with Reyna and Percy down a flight of stairs.

* * *

 

She wouldn't stop.  Mania wouldn't stop screaming.  She continued to invade Nico's privacy as Jason, sending him spiraling into some horrible nightmare all day long.  For days, he had seen and heard Jason.  On occasions, he and Jason would talk but sometimes, it was Nico screaming at the blond copy, yelling and hitting.  Mania let him do whatever he wanted with these copies of Jason and sometimes, Nico couldn't handle it.

He had considered many things, seeing as hope to escape was non-existent at this point.  

But at the moment, his interactions with the copy Jason were calm and serene.  Nico wanted to live with the copies now.  Jason wasn't ever coming, was he?

They laid on the bed, curled up with each other.  Nico stared at the copy's face, which looked so real.  His skin was soft and warm as Nico ran his fingers over it, the scar on his lip turning white when he smiled.  Nico ran a hand through the blond hair, sighing.  He could feel the copy's hands on his sides and waist, keeping him close.  The roughness from their first meeting hadn't disappeared but, Nico didn't mind it so much at this point.

He had so many bruises on his side that, why worry about another one.  In fact, the bruises covered a lot of his pale skin.  His wrists were raw, his throat covered in red and purple.  Chest, waist, legs, arms, everything was scarred and bruised but, Nico didn't mind at this point.  No hope for anything else.

"Do you love me," Jason asked sternly.

"Yes," Nico whispered.  

"Then show me."

It had become a game to the copy, seeing what he could get Nico to do.  They hadn't done anything far enough for most discomfort but, there were some things that Nico had become so desperate for human contact, he did.  The smaller boy curled up closer, leave lazy kisses across Jason's neck and collar bones, murmuring.

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

"No, you don't," Jason replied, pulling Nico back.  He glared at the son of Hades, who frowned and shied away, trying to pull back.  "You don't love because you never do anything for me!"

"I do," Nico argued quietly.  "I love you," he whined.  

"You don't," Jason said again, getting up from the bed.

"No!"  Nico scrambled over to the standing blond, tugging at his shirt.  "I do, I promise I do!  Please, Jason!"  Nico started to sob.  "Don't leave me again!"

Jason shook his head and shoved Nico off.  “No, you don’t love me.  If you did, you would show me.”  He walked to the door, listening to Nico’s sobs echo through the room.  “Take a shower,” he spat, slamming the door.

Nico cried and sobbed, curling up on the mattress before Mania suddenly appeared beside his bed.

_ My precious demigod, are you alright, _ she asked, cradling him.   _ Oh, was it Jason, darling?  I’m so sorry, _ she cried, holding him close.  Nico continued to sob as Mania repeated her process of stripping him and placing him in the tub.

Nico sat in a mound of bubbles as Mania washed his hair and his skin, observing the bruises on his arms.  Nico looked at them too, trying to count how many there were.  All of them overlapped and were different colours and he couldn’t tell how many there were.  Just a lot.

“Get rid of Jason,” Nico muttered.  “I don’t want him anymore…”

Mania frowned and rubbed Nico’s back soothingly.   _ Of course, demigod.  I’m so sorry he’s been mean to you… _

“I hate him…”

 


	6. i'm afraid of the things in my brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooooo, i rewrote this chapter like, 6 times. it was actually really difficult, especially since i haven't written in a while so, yeah. anyway, enjoy it...? i want to do a longer chapter next soooo.
> 
> while you're reading this, you should hit up my Tumblr, leave a follow, maybe send me an ask about the book. idk, lol. @iinterstellar-astronaut
> 
> (the lyrics - intertwined:dodie clark)

**I'm afraid of the things in my brain**

**But we can stay here**

**And laugh away the fear**

 

Jason felt so helpless.  He had never had this happen to him before and today, his worst nightmares had come true.

 They had found Nico.  Well, _Jason_ had found Nico.  He was all alone in a bedroom, crying on top large lavish covers.   He was stripped down to nothing but his boxers, cuts and numerous bruises covering his arms.  The amount of colour on his body made Jason sick to his stomach.  Jason had reached out to help him but, Nico's expressions confused the blond.

 "I told Mania to get rid of you," Nico had croaked out.  The boy looked up to see Jason.  His dark eyes were sunken in and his cheeks were stained with dark tears.  A grimace masked his face and it was the first time that Jason had seen the boy so unhappy since the war with Gaea.  But, soon after Nico had let the words leave his lips, he pounced at Jason, suddenly throwing punches while kissing the blond.

 Jason was petrified by Nico's lips on his.  He had always _wanted_ to kiss Nico but, the son of Hades had always been dating Will.  That doesn't mean that Jason didn't eagerly kiss Nico back.  Their lips glided together in a messy clash of teeth and tongue but, Jason couldn't help but wonder why Nico pinched and smacked Jason's sides angrily.  A tug on the blond hair pulled Jason back to look at Nico and his crying face.

 "You're not real," Nico exclaimed, sobbing harder.  He kissed Jason again and the son of Jupiter pulled back.  

 "Nico, what are you talking about?  I'm real," he said gently.  He brought a hand up to Nico's face, watching the dark boy flinch as Jason touched a bruised cheek carefully.  "You're okay, I'm here, Neeks..."  He held Nico tightly and heard the boy gasp and try to pull away.

 "Please don't hurt me," he cried out loudly, pulling from Jason's grasp and falling onto the bed.  He crawled off, tearing at the sheets in fright.  "I hurt so much!  Mania should've gotten rid of you," Nico screamed, turning back to watch Jason.  He grabbed a vase from the nightstand, chucking it at Jason, who dodged quickly.  "I hate you!"

 Jason took a step back, hurt.  He didn't know what to say.  "Nico… Stop, we need to get out of here.  We can discuss this later.”

 "No!  I hate you!  Go away! I don’t need your help, Jason!”

 "Nico, please," Jason begged.  "I'm here to take you home."

 "I don't belong there," Nico spat, standing up from the bed.  He stalked over to Jason, slamming him into the wall with an unknown strength, knocking the wind out of Jason.  The blond breathed, looking down at the boy in front of him, frowning in pain.

 "Nico, what the hell is going on?”

 "You're just going to make me love you, aren't you," Nico cried angrily.  "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," he exclaimed, hitting Jason's chest weakly.  The blond's eyes widened and Jason grabbed Nico's wrists carefully and held them, bringing his knuckles to Jason's lips.  He kissed the top of Nico's knuckles, trying to calm him down.

 "Nico, what's going on?  Let's get you out of here," he calmly replied, tugging Nico towards the door.  Nico refused once more, leaning forward and pulling Jason to the bed.  He knocked Jason over, pinning him down to places kisses and his tongue across Jason’s cheek, then his jaw, down to his neck.  Jason tried to get a word out but, he almost couldn’t.  Jason felt so touch starved and he hated saying it but, he loved Nico’s affection.  The son of Hades hands wandered, slowly trailing down to the zipper of Jason’s jeans.  Jason caught the wrists easily, pulling them up.  He looked up at Nico, who sobbed.

 “Nico, stop.  We’re not doing this.”  Nico let out another sob and collapsed onto Jason's chest, crying as Jason maneuvered Nico up off the bed, wrapping one of the bruised arms around his neck carefully.  “C’mon, Neeks, we’re getting you out..”

 "I hate you," Nico mumbled.  "I hate you so much..."

* * *

Train, train, train, train, train, train, train, tra-

 “Jason!”  Percy’s voice cut through the constant mantra in Jason’s head as he spun around.  The green eyed demigod walked over, his arms crossed anxiously.  “He’s awake…  But, there’s some stuff that we need to talk about before you can see him.”

 Jason quirked an eyebrow carefully but flipped his sword into coin form.  “Alright…?  Is he going to be okay, Perce?”

 “We don’t know,” Percy answered, sighing.  “Chiron wants to talk as well.  C’mon.”  The two demigods walked to the Big House, where Jason was nearly trampled by Will Solace.  The son of Apollo’s face was beet red and steam was practically coming out of his ears.

 “How _dare_ you touch him, Grace?!  You’re absolutely disgusting, what the hell is wrong with you?!”  Will snarled more profanities and curses as Clarisse held him back.  The Big House was filled with most of the camp counselors, all giving Jason the worst looks, most of anger or disgust.

 Jason could feel the anxiety radiate off of Percy, indicating that he was probably the only one of Jason’s side at the moment.  The blond looked around and found a seat beside Reyna, taking a cautious seat.  On the other side of him sat Annabeth, who was also glaring at Jason.  Even Thalia was there and she didn’t know what to think.

 “Jason, Nico told us a lot of different things,” Chiron started.  “We’d like to-”

 “You were supposed to rescue him, not _rape_ and abuse him,” Will screamed, slamming a hand on the table.  Will Solace, a lanky cat and the calmest of the Apollo cabin, was screaming at Jason.  If there was anything scarier, Jason had never met it before.  Will’s vibe was unsettling, almost like the vibe Nico gave off when Jason first met him, dark and unforgiving.  It was angry and fearful.

 “I didn’t,” Jason argued.  “What gave you _that_ idea?!”

 “Boys,” Chiron’s booming voice interrupted.  “We need to take Jason’s word into account.  Jason, there were claims that Nico made that his doctor recorded that we need to examine.”

 “Isn’t Will his doctor,” Jason asked, glancing at the son of Apollo, who looked like he was on the verge of tears.  

 “Not at the moment,” said a voice.  It was Austin, who Jason hadn’t noticed.  “I’m Nico’s doctor because neither of them are stable.”

 “I’m fine,” Jason heard Will grumble, tearing his arm away from Clarisse’s grasp.

"Jason, did or did you not touch Nico?”  All eyes were on Jason as he glanced around the room, which suddenly seemed a lot smaller.  Each pair of eyes was different but they all had the same accusing stare in them, the same threatening stare that demigods only gave to monsters, which Jason was.

 “I helped him out of the castle and into the car.”

 “His bruises, were they from you?”

 “No.  They were there before,” Jason answered, eyes wandering.  He shifted his eye contact between different people.  The most innocent and kind eyes had turned cold and it sent chills down Jason’s spine.  His own sister couldn’t look at him without seeing the large word ‘MONSTER’ tattooed across his forehead.

 “Nico claims that you forced him to confess love and affection towards you?”

 “He mentioned that,” Jason said, trying to think back to inside the mansion.  “He mentioned how I was going to make him love me.  I don’t know, it was confusing.”

 “He also claims you kissed him?”

 “He kissed me.”  Jason met Will’s eyes and a new flame erupted behind the blue eyes as he almost stood out of his seat.  “I don’t know what happened but, I can’t tell you much.”  The son of Jupiter looked at Percy.  “I want to go back to my cabin.”

 Percy sighed and glanced at Chiron, who gave a curt nod.  Percy and Jason stood and began to walk out of the Big House, ignoring the protests that Jason still wasn’t innocent, that he must’ve been guilty, that he was a guilty man walking free.

 “Jason, what happened in there,” Percy asked quietly, walking to Cabin One with him.  They walked slowly, Jason’s hands deep in his pockets, fiddling with his coin while his head tumbled with thoughts and terrifying possibilities.

 “Nico kept going on about how he asked Mania to get rid of me,” Jason grumbled.  “He wouldn’t stop mentioning that I wasn’t real, that I was going to hurt him, all this stuff…”  Jason ignored the worried look from Percy and walked up the porch, leaving the austruck demigod on the path.  “Goodnight, Percy…”

 As soon as the door shut, Jason was met with a figure curled up in his bed under all the covers.  Jason approached the bed cautiously, moving the blankets to see wild black hair splayed across his pillow.  The face that matched the hair was sleeping, peaceful almost but, as Jason’s eyes trailed down, he noticed all the colour on the pale skin.

 “Nico,” Jason whispered to himself.  “What happened to you?”


End file.
